I started HRT on June 2 with estradiol twice a day for now. I will see my endocrinologist in a couple of months at which point he will increase my dosage. But it's amazing the effect the hormones have had in such a short time. It's like my emotions have been unchained.
For many years I have buried my emotions deep within me and very little affected me other than occasional anger. Deaths of very close relatives were met with just the usual day to day feeling nothing. A lot of that was caused by being my mother's caregiver in her home for years. In an eight year period, I probably spent less than four weeks away from the house with the biggest break being a one week trip to Ireland. So I learned to bury my emotions including my gender dysphoria and feel basically nothing. I'm sure I was depressed during some of that time; I mean what do you have to look forward to when your day/week/year consists of getting someone up, making sure they get dressed, fixing breakfast, getting them settled, preparing lunch, getting them settled, cooking dinner, getting them settled and finally off to bed. My wife was still in our home in another state working so she commuted on the weekends and would give me a little break from cooking. Thankfully I am retired from an airline and she could fly space available. And even after mom and my brother were gone, no emotions. Until last fall and then it was a crash. Now with HRT, the day seems brighter plus my wife says I am much happier and more affectionate. It's made a BIG difference.
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